Creepy Creeper or How Poland is Weird
by SasuHika
Summary: Poland can't be creepier than Russia...can he? Lithuania finds Poland's collection of live ponies named after all the nations. Not weird at all. POSSIBLY CRACK...you have been warned. LietPol if you squint.


"P-Poland?" The timid brunet Baltic pokes his head through the door of his best friend's house, which was left carelessly unlocked by the polish man. Lithuania, because that's who it is, squeezes his eyes shut (most likely to brace himself for the squeal of "Liet!" and the crushing bear hug that would follow), and reopens them slowly when the silence persists and a bubbly blonde doesn't ferociously tackle him.

A bit surprised, he walks in, taking care of wiping his shoes on the welcome mat. He averts his eyes from the slogan on the mat and thinks, 'Well...It's very...Feliks like.' As he smiles slightly to himself, he closes the door behind him and wanders into the living room. True to his word, the entire house is painted a vivid pink. Wicked Hipster Pink, to be precise.

"Poland?" he calls as he weaves his way through room after room. Lithuania pauses briefly at the kitchen to get something to quench his thirst. Honestly, if he doesn't find him soon... CRASH! From behind his lemon aid glass, Lithuania looks up, bewildered. He stands up and walks into Poland's backyard, where he supposes the sound originated from.

"Hello?" The Pole's backyard is wide and spacy with a small building in the not so far away distance. He embarks on the small path that leads to the building with renewed skepticism. (Is that a farm? It looks like a farm) "Why would he be out here, and what could have possibly made that noise?" he wonders to himself. The Lithuanian man is a bit worried about his friend, and rightly so, because this wouldn't be the first time Poland has done something crazy and/or stupid.

The barn is now close enough to touch, and strange noises can be heard from inside. He arms himself with courage and kicks the door down, alert in case he's hurt or in trouble. "Eeep!" squeals the blond man who cowers for a second before righting himself quickly. "Like, Liet! Close your eyes! You can't see me like this!" The stunned brunet squeezes his eyes shut, used to following his every whim.

Poland breathes a sigh of relief and petted him on the head. "Good boy!" Neigh! Lithuania jumps up, eyes still screwed shut, and cries out, "Feliks! W-why did you neigh?" He stares at him as the wheels in his head turn. "Because I so totally can, Liet," he laughs. Whinny! "S-stop that please! It's kinda creeping me out!"

He giggles to himself and then grins triumphantly. He thinks Lithuania is trustworthy enough to see his secret stash. But what could Poland be hiding? "I can't, like, stop, but I guess you can open your eyes." He does just that and comes face to face with...

"A PONY FARM?" True to his outburst of pure horror, small horses of every shape and size litter the room. Buckets of paint are laying around haphazardly and a Wet Paint sign is places strategically in the center. Oh. My. God. "Oh. My. God," he whispers in awe, eyes widening more and more until they defy logic.

"Do ya like 'em? I spent a FORTUNE on these cuties, and, like, I have so much fun with them!" Completely speechless, he followed him. Poland grabbed his hand and is now apparently going to start the horse tour. "I named all my babies after countries and stuff. Isn't that totally rad? Oh! Here's me~" Poland points at Poland (err...the horse). The young horse was painted yellow from head to hooves, with the exception of a crude reproduction of the Polish flag on his back.

Shakily, the brunet extended his hand and put it on its face. The animal stared back at him with mischievous green orbs, and Feliks loud out an obnoxious laugh. "He likes to bite, so be careful~!" The other man's face turned pink ('Didn't that mean that Feliks liked to bite too?') and his limb was retracted in record time. Maybe he could have even won a race for fastest hand removal in the world, who knows!

"He sure is pretty," he said, gazing at his companion instead of the horse. The action was ignored and the Baltic Nation was pulled along to the next one. "This is Russia! I keep him in a cage, 'cuz like, who knows what that psycho might do! The (seemingly) innocent animal almost appeared to smile through its muzzle, violet eyes smiling with a strange intensity.

Lithuania couldn't help but cringe as a shiver shot up his spine. After so many years of living as a slvae in Russia's house, he didn't even want to _look _at his doppelganger. This time, instead of the other way around, the brunet pulled the blond to the next stall. "So...who is that?" he asked, actually kind of curious. Poland shrugged and said nonchalantly, "I forget who that, like, is." The brunet looked at the red and white flag with the maple leaf, but simply _could not_ figure it out.

The small, yellowish horse with purple eyes and an errant curl in its mane snorted, as if offended, and turned to face the wall away from them. The day wore on, leaving Toris's head reeling from all the meet n' greet sessions with various ponies. Unfortunately, there was still one more left. "And now, the totally best for last!"

This one was brown with a wavy mane and big eyes. It seemed to be his favorite, because of how brushed his mane was. Realization smacked him in the face with a metal bat. "Is t-that...me?" Poland giggled and threw his arms around it, squealing. "I love my Little Liet Jr!" The polish man pressed a kiss to the animal's cheek-thing; Toris's face colored considerably.

"That's me?" he repeated, horrified yet oddly pleased. "Yeah! I told you the best was for, like, last!"Poland smiled wryly and added, "You're' the best..." Before he knew what had happened, arms were thrown around HIM (not the animal this time) and he was pressed up against him in a tight hug. He returned the hug, still unsure about whether to be creeped out or glad.

Oh well, Poland was all he needed to think about, now. All the rest could be sorted out later. _ Much _ later.


End file.
